<deep sigh>

I really don’t know if I should post this or not – I don’t know if there is any way another will understand it without having experienced it firsthand.  I hope whoever ends up here is not seeking an instruction manual on ‘How to Achieve Enlightenment’, because if there were a way to relay this effectively, better men than I would have already done so long ago.  This is likely to raise more questions than it answers.


I had read before that what ‘It’ was, was indeed beyond words, but at the same time incredibly simple.  I thought perhaps the author was dodging a difficult answer.  But now I know what he meant.  It really cannot be described.


Even so, this writing will attempt to answer 3 basic questions:

1.  Who and what are we actually?  Who is Bob or Frank, and how do they show up here?

2.  Who or what is the End of the Line, the Absolute, the Source, That Which Is?

3.  What is this dimension we seem to find ourselves in now?  What causes this world and all that is in it to appear to be?



The answers to these questions are not easy to convey.  To our conditioned way of thinking, they seem outrageous or incredible.  To find something in this dimension to compare them to is very difficult, and in the end, I find myself falling back upon words that are generally thought of as somewhat scientific to try and convey what it is that is actually occurring here.  For their sterility, I apologize.


But I am trying to describe a creature that doesn’t exist in the common mind.  I can say it somewhat has the head of a parrot, and the tail of a snake, and spots like a leopard, but what you conjure in your mind will seem silly compared to the actual creature.  That is what I am up against here.


Trying to bring it into this dimension is like pulling a deep sea creature up from the depths – it just explodes and goes to pieces in this atmosphere, because the unseen things that hold it together are simply not present here in enough force to hold it together.  I am sorry.


The one thing I can tell you that will be helpful is that you really must lay aside all your concepts, all your studies – everything.  Remember, if you can read about it, then it can’t be 100% Truth (including this).  You must read between the lines.  If someone can tell you directly about it, then it can’t be the Truth.  All someone can do is to point to it until YOU see it.  Until then, there’s probably little that person can say to you will make much sense.  Much will sound downright incredible.  I know this because I have experienced it firsthand.  It comes as fast as lightning, as quickly as a knife thrust.  It really does. 


I decided to go ahead and do this in sections because the second part may be even more difficult to attempt to convey in writing.  This is part one.  Good luck with reading between my lines.  Some of this is bound to sound very esoteric and some of it may sound downright nuts.  Other parts may make give you a headache when you try to understand it.  Good luck with it all.  Read it as much as you like, but to find what you are looking for, you must discard this and everything else you think you know in the end.  Don’t worry – you can’t throw away the Truth, as hard as you may try.  You can cover it up and disguise it for a while, but it cannot leave you because it IS you.  So throw it all away.  Try.  What remains will be the only thing fit to keep.



‘The Download’ – Part I



One day, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye:  Some of the pillars used to support the paradigm I’d become accustomed to had suddenly begun to crumble and wobble.  Yes, I had noticed the cracks in them before, but chose to overlook them or interpret them as ‘something I would understand later’.


As I watched them begin to fail, I was afraid and disoriented.  Where would ‘here’ be now?  Then unexpectedly, a feeling of gladness, of outright glee overtook me and I realized that I had caused this because I knew that the pieces did not truly fit.  Others may have convincingly claimed they did, but I couldn’t escape this knowing that they did not.  With this sudden realization, relief and light flooded every molecule of my being. 


Within my deepest being, I had felt simmering discontent.   I could no longer bear ‘waiting for the Great Revelation’.  I decided ‘no more waiting’.  No more feigned respect or berth given for what I could not find agreement with within.  Today was the day.  I didn’t care if I was left with nothing.  An honest ‘nothing’ was more acceptable to me than a discretionary ‘something’.  And with that, I jumped into my bulldozer like a madman and pulverized everything.  I destroyed my paradigm, leveling it until there was nothing left.  Then I turned around, faced the Nothingness and said, “Okay. NOW what?” 


Somewhat to my surprise, It answered.


The answer was a profound Knowing, difficult to verbalize, but I have tried to do so here in this writing, for what it is worth.  I hope you can read between the lines.




This Is an Autopsy



Let me say first that trying to convey this is very, very difficult.  The Truth is alive – it is a living thing.  To attempt to discuss it is to kill and chop it into little pieces that we call words.  To discuss it is to actually perform an autopsy.  You can check it out, handle it, stick your fingers into its eye sockets, but you can’t effectively relate what you think you see to the actual living thing.


The Truth is like a beautiful deer standing in your forest of confusion.  To discuss it with you makes it necessary that I kill it and chop it into pieces.  This writing is my attempt to lay these pieces out in some sort of orderly deer-shape, and if you don’t mind overlooking the butchering, perhaps you can get an idea of what I am trying to describe.  Even so, some of you will be disgusted.  Others will turn away in disbelief that anything so crudely hacked up could be what I am trying to tell you it is.  And some of you, perhaps a couple of you, will have an inkling that you cannot account for, and walls and floors you formerly thought of as quite sturdy may begin to quiver.  It is for you, I attempt this.


Even with my careful attempt at artfully arranging the chopped up carcass, you will never really know the deer from anything I can present you.  This is indeed just a carcass laid out for you to examine.  To know the deer as it truly is, you’ll have to read between the lines.  You have to rely on an innate ‘knowing’.   You already have this knowing.  Perhaps seeing its outline and form here will help you recall what you already know firsthand.  I hope so.  It is why I have written this.


Also realize I may seem to circle around and come back and say nearly the same thing again in a different way.  This is how The Download ‘unwound’ itself to me, and I can only hope it did it in this fashion in order to be helpful in some way.  Perhaps hearing something said in multiple ways helps it to sink in better.  Or maybe I should have organized it better.  We’ll see.  Let me know.


Anyhow, last call.  Kansas may be about to go bye-bye.


(Note:  Here’s a short 1 minute video I did to illustrate this point for those who haven’t read ‘The Download’ yet.  You may also enjoy it.  It can be viewed by clicking here: . )






I Disagreed


What were the rumblings that took down my ‘Rome’?  It fell from the inside, just like the Rome of old.  I could no longer dismiss that there were many assumptions expressed by well respected enlightened souls that I disagreed with.  I didn’t mean to disagree.  I tried very hard not to disagree.  After all, who was I to disagree?  But disagree, I did. 


I couldn’t hear the ‘note’ playing when I came to those areas, I couldn’t smell the fragrance of Truth I had become good at detecting. And I didn’t know why.   Initially, I wrote it off to simply not understanding enough at the time to fully grasp what was being expressed.  But over time that had worn thin, and I could no longer accept it as a possibility.  I can see this unspoken disagreement leaking out everywhere when reading my old writings and poems, though it was subconscious at the time.  But having finally broken free to the surface, it could no longer be overlooked or dismissed.  Rome had to be taken down.


The assumptions I disagreed with are very important.  They are considered fundamental to many schools of enlightenment – platforms that everything else is built upon.  To disagree with these is no light matter.   But I did.


It is assumed by many that:


1.  That this world is Illusional, no more than a bad Dream we must awaken from, a mistake.  I disagree.

2.  That our bodies are irrelevant, or that our bodies are ‘traps’ or obstacles to work round or free ourselves from.  I disagree.

3.  That we are limited in our bodies by the nature of our bodies, and should accept and let ‘nature’ take its course, because there is no other choice and anyhow, and furthermore, we really shouldn’t care.  I disagree.

4.  That we are governed by any real limitations in this ‘dimension’.  I disagree.

5.  That things and people around us in this world are detrimental, and should be minimized or should be avoided.  I disagree.

6.  That due to its perfection, the ‘Supreme Being’ can or simply must ‘ignore’, or ‘fail to be aware of’, or ‘choose to have nothing to do with’ this dimension or ‘Illusion’.  I disagree.

7.  That there is a Supreme Being.  I disagree.


Hold on – most require further explanation to understand what I mean, and I’ll do my best here.  You’ll have to do the rest.


Actually, some of this may strike you as being very simple.  I assure you it is.  It is the explaining that proves difficult.  If you grasp this correctly, you will be surprised at how simple it is.  It only becomes difficult and starts to fall apart when you try to use your mentality to examine it. 


One reason you may find it so simple is because you already know all of this – it just seems like you’ve accidentally ‘overwritten the files’.  Lucky for you, these particular files are write-protected, and you’ve just labeled them incorrectly and therefore filed them in the wrong place.  I hope this helps you retrieve them.



A Refresher


Here are some words I will be throwing around a lot, so take a moment to allow the meaning as I intend it to sink in.  I apologize for their sterile nature, but absorb them anyhow.  Note: There will be a pop quiz <grin>:

relate:  To establish or demonstrate a connection between

relation:   A logical or natural association between two or more things; relevance of one to another; connection

relevant:    Having a bearing on or connection with the matter at hand. [Medieval Latin relevāns, relevant-, from Latin, present participle of relevāre, to relieve, raise up; see relieve.] 

relativity: 1. The theory that space and time are relative concepts rather than absolute concepts.   2.  The quality of being relative and having significance only in relation to something else.



Now, here’s a difficult trick you must do:
 While holding these definitions in one hand, please hold something entirely different in your other hand:


In Truth, no relating or relativity is actually occurring,
because everything is actually the same – the One.


But this seeming relativity or relating is a ‘dynamic dance of motion and repose’.  And that, my dearest, is actually ‘You’. You are that Dance. 





Big Surprise – Einstein Was RIGHT



Though Einstein used the seemingly non-ethereal tools of mathematics and science in his ‘divining of the Divine’, that was indeed always his secret focus, though the scientific community has no intention of handing him over as a role model in the Search for Enlightenment. 


Einstein apparently understood clearly that relativities do not merely affect everything, but in a way, actually determine and define ‘what is’.  His mistake was in insisting upon *‘chopping up the deer’ (*see ‘This Is an Autopsy’ above).  Furthermore, the longer you stare at the chopped up deer, the more you will try to find some way to relate to it as you have become accustomed to relating to things in this dimension – to lay it out.  To handle it, demonstrate it, and examine it.   And that will keep you chasing your tail, as it did Einstein in the end. 


He obviously believed that there must be a way to demonstrate without question what he intuitively knew.  But sadly, there is not, other than to experience it firsthand.  He was compelled to this belief by his ‘tools of choice’ – science and math, which are by definition, pragmatic, and based upon empirical data.  Though well respected in this dimension, empirical data is based upon comparisons and contrasts, and is domain of the ego-mind.  And the ego-mind, however brilliant, is limited.  The ego-mind will NEVER see the deer alive.  It can only examine the dead deer.  To continue your search via the ego-mind will arrest your discovery in midstream, and you will go no farther. Remember that.


I encourage you to tear down your Rome, thumb your nose at it, and turn and say “NOW WHAT?”   Are you brave enough?   You must be willing to do away with the neat stacking of blocks of ‘knowledge’ that have built the supposed ‘Halls of Wisdom’ that you have studied and may have come to revere or have some sort of an attachment to – as these very structures that have now become your unwitting prisons. 


Now, many of us have learned enough to avoid the narrow and limiting structures of religion ---  But I am telling you that you must chuck all the bits and pieces you have lovingly collected as well.  Throw away every last thing you thought you knew about anything.


Begin anew.


By cleaning house, you will be undoing another level of conditioning that you never even saw coming, because it was adopted in the NAME of ‘undoing conditioning’ in the first place.  In the pursuit of freedom, and Truth and liberation, we have unwittingly exchanged one set of chains for another.  Do away with them ALL.  What you need to know will still be there.  It can never be parted from you.


In other words, yes, read this writing here if you like, but when you’re done, toss it.  Do not rely on my words.  If any are the Truth in them, in the end you will find you are not able to toss them, because they ARE you. 



The Dance


What surrounds you?  What are you made of?  Is there anything?  Do you know? 


There are 3 popular theories:


1.  The ‘regular physical world’ will insist that you are a physical being, born from your parents, and living on the 3rd planet from the sun filled with things that have evolved, but are irreversibly defined in the natures (unless tampered with by science, or they continue to evolve).


2.  However, some schools of enlightenment will counter that there is nothing there at all – it is just a mental construct of you brain, and therefore both the world, and you, are inevitably irrelevant and unimportant. 

3. While many religions will agree with the theory of the physical world, they also believe in a spiritual world that we have ‘fallen from’.  They believe this physical world is evil and a mistake that we must suffer through it because of our sins.






And no.


What composes this dimension is something too wonderful to express clearly.  What composes this dimension is YOU.


You cannot label it mental OR physical.  It is neither ‘here’, nor is it ‘not here’.  I know this sounds paradoxical, but it is true.  It’s impossible to accurately verbalize, but it is somewhat like a dance. 


Where is a ‘dance’?  You can point to a ‘dance’ being done, but you are actually pointing to the dancer.  Could you place that ‘dance’ in a box and take it home?  What does it look like?  You can write down the steps for someone else to copy, but that will not accurately convey the actual dance (and is what I am perhaps foolishly attempting to by this writing). 


The things you seem to see and experience around you, including you, are like this dance.  To know it, you must dance.  To know what is around you, you must become the dance.  Not the dancer – the dancer is only there in a relative sense, as a means of expressing the dance.  You must become the Dance.  There is no other way.






Relation and Relativity


Relation and relativity are what give birth to the things in this dimension.  Including you.


And relation and relativity themselves are the children of comparisons and contrasts.  To relate or be relative, there must be something to relate or compare to, which brings you into the Land of Comparisons and Contrasts:  “This man is my father. This other man is not.”  “This cake tastes good.  This onion tastes bad.”  As you can see, comparisons and contrasts also give birth to your perceptions: “I like this.  I don’t like that.”  It even gives you reason or rationalization in this dimension:  “I like it because it is soft.  I don’t like this because it is rough.” 


Welcome to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, folks.  The apples are free here, but I wouldn’t take a bite, if I were you.  If you do, welcome to Hell.  Oh.  I see you’re here already.  <grin>  Oh well, pull up a chair and get comfy for a minute.  Rest up.  Because soon, you’re going to Dance.


So in a way, we can think of existence in this dimension like a 2 edged sword:  The ‘cause’ of it including all its variations and perceptions is also the cause of our pain and suffering:  The Land of Comparisons and Contrasts.  But why would it be set up this way?  To torture us?  No – we’ve just misinterpreted some important points, and we’ll go into those along the way.



What’s So Special?


Perhaps some of the problem lies in the fact that we place SO much importance on this dimension – it’s all we consciously know, so to us, it is unique and very special.  But in actuality, nothing can truly be ‘special’ if there is only the One.  Can it?  Who or what is there to be special and different, when there is only the One?


Perhaps this belief in the importance of this dimension is part of our problem:  There is an awful lot of energy and resources spent in an attempt to understand everything within the constructs of this dimension.  Perhaps we might benefit from considering whether this dimension that we have become so addicted to and dependent upon could be more accurately compared to a simple chat room.  You heard me –  just a chat room.


If it’s the only chat room you know, then everything is automatically related in terms of that chat room, and those related terms and ‘things’ become very important.  They are important because they are necessary in order to express the ‘you’ you think you are.  Think not?  Who would ‘you’ be if your parents didn’t exist in this ‘chat room’/dimension?  Whatever that would be, it couldn’t be the ‘you’ that you’ve come to believe is you.


Perhaps if we could see or know other chat rooms, and relate to these other chat rooms, our ‘one and only’ chat room would begin to lose its disproportionate importance to us. Leaving this chat room to go to another would be no big deal.   But we can’t see those other chat rooms.  Why? Why are we stuck only viewing this chat room?  (This is important):

Because we’ve desperately tied ourselves
to the username in this chat room.


Haven’t you?  We all have.  We literally have a death-grip on it.  Therefore, we have imprisoned and limited ourselves.  And though we try to explain everything by this one chat room, inside us where Truth dwells we know nothing really makes sense within those confined terms, and that leaves us with a constant feeling of worry and dis-ease. And we start to misinterpret things and make up things, and these things became our reality.   And such is the unfortunate state of most of mankind.






‘Relative To’, But Not ‘Caused By’


Still with me?  Good.  Here is where another seeming paradox that makes the Truth a difficult thing to grasp: 


 Everything in this dimension is relative to everything else,

yet, nothing causes anything else. 


Hmmm….seems to be a brain-buster, but here’s why:  The Short Answer is simply this: 


There is only One, not two.


Always remember that.  In Truth, what is there to act upon another?  There IS no other.  Yet things dynamically ‘relate’.  The ‘dance’ is the ‘Totality’ (You) having this little orgasm of sensations and ideas and relations, etc. – each is just a ‘note’ in this song.  But no note is caused by another note.


We can use a piano in this example, and say that in one perspective each key is independent, but in actuality they are all part of the same piano.  They are not separate.  And it’s not actually the Player who is causing the melody to occur, thought that’s what most assume.  No.  What actually brings the melody forth is the Action, the Playing, the Dance that brings it forth.  And the Dance is YOU.  How about that?




Donut Holes


Here’s another way to try and look at it using a humble donut.   In this example, the ‘you’ you know in this dimension (Frank, Teresa, whoever) is the donut hole.  The Real You is the Donut.   Because of the Donut’s existence, the donut hole exists, or seems to.  Because of the Real You, the little you also ‘is’.  In this way, the Donut ‘creates’ the donut hole.  The donut hole exists relative to the Donut.  The donut hole could not exist without the Donut.  Rather, it would exist, but it could not be easily pointed to. 




Doing the Wave


Here’s one more final way to try and look at it:  The mind prefers to think that you are a dense body, tactile, subject to attacks (like germs), benefits (like vitamins), etc.  But you do not truly exist in his way. 


You only exist as somewhat of an amalgam in this dance, like the spray generated when a wave pounds against a rock.  If you look carefully, you will realize that neither the wave nor the rock caused the spray to exist, per se.  It was the action, the interplay, the relation between the rock and the wave that actually birthed the spray.  And the spray is neither the wave nor the rock – it is the spray.  If it were the wave or the rock, you would call it the wave or the rock.  It is what was born of is the relation between the two.  But it’s not actually of the rock or wave – it exists because of the relation between the two.  The interplay is actually both mother and father, rather than the rock or wave.


The spray is not the wave, though similar in some ways to the wave.  But rather, it is the spray, with its own duration and attributes, created by the copulation (relation) of the wave and the rock.  But it is neither of them.  It is the spray.  Neither of them caused it.  The interplay did.


And in a similar manner do we, and everything else in this dimension, seem to ‘exist’.



Brain sizzling?  That’s okay.  Let is sizzle until it finally gives up and fizzles out.  Really, what happens is that when you see that you can not grasp this by your common thought process, you will eventually abandon it and turn instead to the Knowing that is within you.  Then you will see the deer.





Hear No Evil, See No Evil


I’ve read in both Eastern and Western religions that The Absolute /The Source/God/Divine Being (however you prefer to label It) is ‘not aware of’ or ‘takes no part in’ certain things and events.  It did not escape my notice that these things and events are always what is commonly judged as ‘bad’ or ‘unpleasant’ or ‘detrimental’, like war, or birth defects, or even our supposed blindness to the Truth.  All bad.  And all placed well away from our Divine Being.  What is actually going on here?


Incredibly, to ‘protect’ this Divine Being that we have actually given rise to in our minds, we give it an excuse.  We are attempting to protect our own creation, not unlike Dr. Frankenstein tried to protect his creation.  We even allow the monster to turn on us, claiming it is all our own fault.


It’s kind of funny when you think about it – ‘little insignificant mortal us’ giving the Divine Being a backdoor to slip out:  Sin.  Imperfection.  To keep this hodge-podge monster we have created, this ‘Divine Being’ pure so that we give our life a lame meaning of sorts, we say that this Divine Being doesn’t ‘know’ of these things, and/or can’t be a part of them, because after all, it is Pure Perfection.  How can anyone expect perfection to mingle with what is imperfect?  This line of reasoning lets us keep it as ‘Divine’, while giving us an excuse (of sorts) as to why these ‘bad’ things exist (war, birth defects, disease, etc), without blaming our Divine Being for them, or even have him included as a part of them.  


In our attempt to explain what seems to be happening by the rules of this dimension that we are trying to work within, we have to lay it all at our own feet.  There’s no other choice.  Who else is there to blame but each other, which is something we also do constantly.  Hello war.  Hello discrimination.  Hello prejudice.


Our most common rationalization becomes that ‘we have done wrong’, and that is why this entire problem occurred.  There’s no other place to lay the blame and resolve what is irresolvable, but upon us.  We see no choice but to throw ourselves on the hand grenade to save our ‘god’.  And since our Paradigm falls without this manufactured rationalization, and we desperately don’t want that, we willingly accept this manufactured explanation, despite the cost.


Some do see the impossibility of this stance and try to take a middle-of-the-road approach by saying these ‘bad things’ are indeed within the Absolute, as all things must be, but apparently they skooch ‘the imperfection’ over to the side a bit, so that the Absolute is not actually a true part of it, is not aware of it, and does not participate in it.  What?  Bull puckey.  How could that be?  Is it ABSOLUTE, or not?  Is it the SOURCE of ALL, or not? 


(But actually, I really do appreciate this error, as I think it was this one that I could simply not make to lie down flat, and eventually was the cause of ‘tearing down my Rome’.  And that was the best move I have ever made.)





How Did This Tremendous Misinterpretation Occur?


It was caused by the fact that these schools of thought cannot completely explain away some things that they need to.  But nothing can be outside of the Absolute, can it?  What can be?  The Absolute is Complete, it is all there is, it is total Awareness, yet they try to say it does not ‘see’ these things that are unseemly or ‘bad’.  And so, like the some religions, some schools of enlightenment try to sweep this discrepancy under the rug by indirectly claiming the Absolute to be so holy that, while it is in a way a part of it, it is not really a part of it because it does not participate in it.  It is a ‘false dream’ that It takes no part in.  That part is skooched to the side.  What?  Is it Absolute, or not? 


Anyhow, this is my attempt at explaining this absurd notion and perhaps I am not doing it very well, but I hope you see the silliness of this proposal that the Absolute (which contains everything) somehow turns His head, or fails to be aware of anything.  This can’t be.  There is only the One.  Everything is here.  Everything.  Where else could it be?




Now What?



So, the question then goes back to “How do we incorporate these ‘bad’ things into that which is Perfection?  The One?”  Can that be done?  Easily.  It is already done.


The biggest snag comes from our inability to deal with the fact that there is no such thing as good or bad, but merely our perception of it.  You’ll need to really try and absorb this - This is a really big point that most cannot bring themselves to agree with.  Try to be one of those who can see this.


Here’s a simple example to help:

The flood that may wash your house away and kill you family may also have saved the farmer’s crop and his family.  Was it a good flood, or a bad flood?  That depends on your perspective alone, and nothing else.  Perspective alone pulls the trigger on the label of ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  In Truth, there is not one thing that is good or bad.  Only perspectives carry those labels.  Can you see this?


To have a perspective, you must have a fixed locality, a ‘me’ point to operate from - a perspective. You’ll soon see that when the false little ‘me’ dissolves, then perspectives also dissolve, and ‘good’ and ‘bad’ go with it, and you understand how ALL is permitted by the Infinite, as all things and all possibilities and potentialities are contained by It. 


Our suffering and pain comes from our compulsion to compare and contrast, to like and dislike. Because this is the ONLY way we know who ‘we’ (the ego-self) are.  This is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  In the highest Truth there are no bad things to explain away.  Mankind is attempting to resolve a dilemma that doesn’t need resolving – because the condition itself is false, created out of perceptions and misinterpretations.  Smoke and mirrors.





‘What You See Is What You Get?’ what most people say.  Or is it “what you THINK is what you get”?  Which is true?


What DO we think?  HOW do we think?  Just how deep does our conditioning go?  Have you ever considered this?


Have you considered that the ‘civilized world’ goes through pretty much the same processing and conditioning?  We are brought up within fairly similar boundaries and ‘fencing’, education being a large part of our conditioning with a disproportionate emphasis.  Have you ever considered how many different things one could choose to know about?  Doesn’t it seem a little odd that we’ve selected a handful of ideas, sanctioned them as ‘important’, and then our government actually make it a legal requirement that you immerse yourself and children in them, usually in the form of what is considered ‘education’?


Doesn’t it seem as though we are unconsciously trying to enforce an unspoken agreement - A reference point, something to measure other things by?  Doesn’t it seem like we are trying to reinforce our concept of reality and importance, and thereby hopefully assist in stabilizing what we believe to be reality?


Our global fascination with education and knowledge points to a very large Truth – we know there is something very important we need to know.  But we don’t remember what that was, so we have instead installed randomly selected criteria, taken from various perspectives (science, math, whatever) perhaps in hopes of maybe hitting upon whatever it is we needed so desperately to know.  We selected and created this thing called ‘education’, and we blindly follow it.  We darn near worship it.  But it is worthless.  Even though other enlightened venues may insist you need ‘this and that’ knowledge to exist in this world, I disagree.  What you need to know, you already know, and it will be expressed as the need arises.  This may be hard for you to believe, but it is utterly True.


Let’s take a moment to switch gears and challenge the perception of some very basic ‘givens’ – things that are much more fundamental to us than say, multiplication or geography:  That about physicalities?  The perception of temperature and how we relate to it?  Is it possible they are also learned somewhat, or at least directed and reinforced?  And if they are at least partially learned, just how far does our conditioning go?


I point to two empirical examples (‘Hurray!’ says the empirical crowd <grin>), two people known as ‘Wild Children’:  ‘Genie’ of California ( ), and an even more intriguing example ‘Victor’ of Aveyron (   Victor was known to gleefully romp nude in the snow, showing neither mental NOR physical aversion to the cold, and one of Genie’s foster Mothers noted that when allowed to run her own bathwater, she would run it cold and get into it without showing any discomfort at all.  To Victor and Genie, ‘cold’ wasn’t cold.  They didn’t react emotionally as if it was cold, nor did their bodies react to it.  Hmm. 


People who are unconditioned by society are more rare than a chicken with teeth.  We haven’t had a lot of opportunity to examine what can happen.  From birth, we are coaxed and cooed into responding to stimulus in a certain way.  It is rare we can see what we might be like without this constant reinforcement.  To me, Genie and Victor are something to consider while questioning all this.


Just how far does our conditioning go?  How deep is that rabbit hole?  Most seeking enlightenment would easily confer that what we perceive or think to be happening is indeed largely a learned perception.  But those same people would have a hard time believing this conditioning might extend into our physical world as well.  But it does.  We are our own jailers, enforcing our manufactured limitations upon ourselves, and perpetuating the stability of these false limitations by our constant social conditioning.  For without it, Rome falls.  Let Rome fall.


If you think about it, a kind of ‘proof’ has happened to many of us before.  Have any of you ever accidentally cut yourself, for example, and while yes, you thought you might have nicked or scraped yourself, you had no idea how seriously you injured yourself until you looked at it?  In fact, it possibly didn’t even hurt until you perceived the injury with your eyes.  I’ve done this more than once, I don’t think it’s that uncommon (or maybe I’m just much too preoccupied and really clumsy <grin>).  But pain was only there in relation to perception of the injury.


Or, have any of you ever experienced an illness or injury and didn’t seek medical advice, recovered from it, and found out later that your recovery should have taken much longer or had been much worse?  Why was that?  Could it be because you didn’t have a doctor informing you what to expect, therefore your healing followed a course more authentic to you and your perception of it, rather than the conditioned response?   Is this possible to you?  Can you see it?


Going back the ‘civilized world’ and its unconscious system of conditioning, have you also ever noted that the ‘uncivilized world’ seems to live by a different set of rules?  What we would freeze to death in, they easily work around.  What would crush us as being too harsh or unbearable; they merely overlook and thrive in.  We write it off to evolution or acclimation, but aren’t those merely other words for conditioning?  Are ‘rules what they are’ because ‘conditioning is what it has been’? How much does this unconscious conditioning influenced how things relate?  A little?  Half?   All?  Stop and consider this, if you haven’t already.  Is this the great “ask and you shall receive”?  Can it be changed if we believe that it can?  Stop and look at this.  It’s a question you cannot be told the answer to, but must discover by yourself.





It’s a Trap


Know that you can’t ‘think’ your way to the Truth.  This is a common misconception.  I mean, if Einstein failed, what chance do you have, right? <grin>  Rather, it is a Knowing that occurs because of a realization/becoming.


So, is the ego-mind worthless?  Not entirely.  I’ll tell you what your ego-mind can show you:  Sometimes it can help show you what is NOT the Truth.


Because this is not a mistake.  It is not merely an Illusion.   So, what is this that we know as our world?  Our ego-mind’s eyes can only see our MISINTERPRETATION right now.   We don’t know what we are looking at, because we have decided it is something different. 


As everything is relating to something else, it is in the process of ‘becoming’ – not in the pursuit of any particular goal (like perfection, etc.)  It is simply what occurs when things ‘relate’.  There is both conscious and unconscious ‘relating’.  And both reside in the Awareness, as do we, and all possibilities and potentialities.


But you must remember that relating is based upon perceptions, and perceptions make the rules you live by.   Perceptions are reinforced when there is agreement among how things are to relate.  We know this on an unconscious level because from this understanding has sprung society, education, and government as well as all other attempted means of regulation.  We are seeking to stabilize that which by definition is dynamic and fluid. 


We seek to homogenize out of fear of the unknown, out of the fear of change, out of the fear of ‘others’.  It’s all we can do to try and stabilize ‘us’, the ‘ego-self, which is actually merely an interpretation of the occurring relativity, ironically.  As long as there is a ‘we’, we will be constantly fluxing and dynamic.  Yet all this dynamic fluxing rests within That Which Never Changes, and it can do this because there, all potentials exist.   It contains everything.  It is everything.  And that, is YOU.  You are the Dance.  Put that in a box and try to take it home. <grin>


Sizzle sizzle <POP!> goes the mind. <grin>  You’ll be okay.




What About ‘Observing the Thinker’?


We need to mention this, because it is a good tool to use initially, a popular one, and what I point to in ‘The Cleft’  .  It is often helpful in weakening your grip on exactly what you believe you are.  But beware that it is still a personification.  Because now, though you have successfully disassociated yourself with the ‘Thinker’ (the ego-mind) you have now associated yourself with The Observer, which is still an entity.  In Truth, there are no real entities.  All entities are merely ‘smoke and mirrors’ shaped by relativities.


So I would be misleading you if I failed to mention you must go beyond the Observer.  Yes, past even Him.  Did you realize there was something beyond Him, working His puppet strings, so to speak?  There is – and what that is has no name, but simply calling it ‘That Which Is’ feels right to me.  It is an awareness.  It is all possible possibilities and potentialities.  It is everything and nothing at the same time.  It is ALL.  The living deer.  The Dance.


Until you reach That Which Is, please be aware that there will continue to be misinterpretations.  It is inevitable.  But as you dissolve more and more, and thereby become more and more, you will clearly see these errors of thought and brush them away like lint off your jacket.  They mean nothing.




Stop the Insanity



Some of the earliest actual progress towards ‘enlightenment’ is to stop trying to stabilize things and sort things.  As the Beatles said, ‘Let it be’.  There will be an answer, let it be.  Stop trying to understand things by our ‘selves’, because our ‘self’ is an ever-changing variable.  It only exists relatively.  What kind of reliable ruler or marker is that?  We know this, too.  And therein lies our constant feeling of unease and insecurity.


The more we allow our perceptions to localize ‘us’, the more distant we become to our natural rhythms of flux, of relating, which IS our actual existence.  Not the existence of the Real You, the Dance, but it is the action of relating that births the ego-self -  Bob, Mary, Jane.   If it were not for our relating to something else, you could not define a ‘you’, because you only know who you are by comparisons and contrasts.  This is important to see.


For example, you are not this chair.  You can tell the difference between you and this chair.  You are not Bob Johnson, because your parents (your r e l a t i v e s by the way <raised eyebrows>) were Mr. and Mrs. Smith and therefore you are John Smith.  You dislike politics.  You like golf.  You prefer coffee over tea, etc.  You have green eyes.  You are fair skinned.  You are tall.  You like blue.  Jalapenos give you heartburn.  The list is infinite, and it is by these comparisons and contrasts that you are ‘defined’.  By your relation or relativity to things/people/places, you are who you are, instead of being someone else.  By these comparisons and contrasts do you seem to have being and exist in this dimension.


The body you call your physical body was born out of your parents relating to each other, was it not?  Didn’t they have relations in order to create you?  Hmmm.


[Sidebar here:  Pay careful attention to our language and to your amazement you will see the Truth dripping everywhere, once you know what to look for.  How is this possible?  Because WE KNOW.  You know.  Right now.  You’ve just mislabeled the information.  Anyhow, watch.]


Once your parent’s relation produced you, you immediately began to be conditioned so that you would react and interact in certain ways, so that you would be ‘safe’ within the prevailing perceptions.  You began to pile perceptions and personality on top of that.  Your compliance with this conditioning is what makes these assigned rules and attributes seem to be real in this dimension, and your unspoken agreement assists in the misguided attempt to stabilize that which is constantly fluxingYou.  And this attempt is the main source of all the pain in the world as we know it. 


That’s why people don’t care for others to ‘make waves’ or be different.  It jeopardizes the current paradigm of reality in a very real way.  It’s not pretend or make-believe, and everyone knows this, just not consciously.  That’s why the only time that change is acceptable is when there is a recognized failure or weakness identified in something.  In that case, change is only tolerated in the hope that it will lead right back to no change – to stabilization.  It’s all about stabilization.  And that’s why we continue to pull everything in on our heads.  War.  Economics.   Because it is only in the state of recognized failure and ensuing instability that we will consider something new and different.  Often it is only when we hit true bottom do we consider looking up.


But the threat to the current paradigm (upon which your ego-self is dependent) is why in every other case, those with different ways of relating/perception/being are seen as a threat by those within the governing paradigm.  They’re considered ‘outsiders’.  And they are a threat, indeed.




So.  Here We Are


Still here?  Good.  Thanks for hanging tough.  I hope this has helped you to question what you really are.  Are you blood and bone?  Or are you something entirely different, that ‘blood and bone’ are merely symbols for?


It is by these comparisons and contrasts of relating that we stay blind to the Truth.  But all is not a mistake, or sin, or illusion – it simply is what it is.  Our misinterpretation goes into play when we seek stability and call some of the things ‘errors’, or ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.  But it is only our misinterpretation.


You must still remember that is during all this changing and flux and relating, still nothing has actually changed, it has just transiently related to one of an unlimited number of potentials.  I know it sounds confusing to hear that so much change and flux is taking place, yet nothing is changing in actuality, but that is the Truth.  That is the ‘live deer’.  You’re trying to fathom how so many pieces of the chopped up deer could animate into one beautiful living thing.  But it does.  It’s just difficult to see from how you are attempting to focus and what you are focusing on.  You must read between the lines and know that we are only trapped within these bodies proportionate to the amount we truly identify with them.







This is sort of a humorous question to me from where I sit now, but it is a common one:  “Why would the One do this?”   We are always trying to make sense of the divine, never seeing that we only seek to relate to It in a way that is familiar and comforting to us.  “Why would it do all this?” we ask.  Why?  WHY?  WHYYYY??!!!!


 Tell me first, “Why not?” 


Do we dare to attempt to limit the Infinite?  To give it rules?  To demand reasons?  Yes, apparently, we do.  Or we try to.


This reaction is part of the last vestiges of the supposedly ‘enlightened’ ego-mind that attempts to answer a question that doesn’t need answering, “WHY?”    Well, why not?


After all, who are we?  We are one of the unlimited potentials formed by relativity, yet we are not truly caused by anything – we are merely one of the unlimited potential outcomes.  We are dynamic flux. 


dy·nam·ic:  An interactive system or process, especially one involving competing or conflicting forces


Starting to see the proverbial handwriting on the wall?   Everything is both dynamic and instantaneous.  Einstein was right – ‘time is indeed just an illusion, albeit a very persistent one’.  And with this realization, suffering ends, and we can rest within the NOW.  The NOW is where the party is.  The NOW is where EVERYTHING is.


It is with the utter death of both the ‘I’ and ‘i’, where pure consciousness and awareness reign, that you are freed from relating to anything, because what is there now left to relate to?  In this state you are your rightful and True nature of all potential possibilities.  The Absolute.  And the NOW is its playground.  Literally.


To slip out of perceptions and into this natural state is to stand in the ‘realm of miracles’, yet now, it is no miracle to you  – only one of all unlimited potential possibilities.  As you no longer identify with a self, even a divine one, you are not chained by your perceptions, and therefore you are chained by no rules.  You never really were anyhow.  But now you know this.


To return to the Awareness beyond our normal mental processes, where there are only unlimited potentialities, is to no longer be part of the equation, but the entire equation, and all potential calculations and outcomes.


This is what made me tear down my Rome.  Despite what I had been told, I could see no error, no mistake, no illusion, no dream had been committed – just a misguided misinterpretation.  One must realize that however lofty your rationalizations may be, they are still just your search for an explanation – an answer to a question that never truly existed.



‘The Download’ Answers Me


In the midst of all this writing, I paused in awe. Yes, right in this very spot.  I reflected on how someone like Jesus, who knew all this and I’m sure even more, grasped it all when he ‘lived’ in a time when so little was known? 


[Sidebar:  Do NOT get distracted by my referral to Jesus.  He was a man who lived, just like you and I, and he unraveled the unity I speak of here, becoming One.  He did not try to start ‘christianity’.  Christianity just borrowed from him,  so get over and past any associative prejudices. ] 


Anyhow, I unconsciously paused in awe, and thinking of Jesus, asked mentally, “Wow – How did you manage to get all this?”  I nearly dropped my pen when there was actually an immediate answer, “The same way you are receiving it right now.”





The Importance of Intent


People tend to think that it is the outcome of something which is important.  This is not necessarily true, in the larger scope of the Truth.  Intent is most important.  This is why: 

Intent defines how you relate.

And this ‘relating’ is all that is actually Real.


Remember:  You’re not the dancer. You’re the Dance.  The dancer is a just an expression of the Dance.  And the Dance is YOU.




As Above, So Below



Now, the real question becomes, ‘What do you think of your relations and how you relate?  For however you relate, however you limit your perceptions and possibilities, however you inforce your conditioning - those rules shall reign in your world.


To understand this fully will change your relation to everything and every potential, and therefore you beneficially influence the potential outcome to everything relating to you. How many things that will include depends upon how broad your perspective has become.  How broad your perspective is depends on how much of ‘you’ that you’ve dissolved.  Are you mostly Sally or Fred?  They can relate to and influence what is relative to them.  Or are you the Absolute?  It relates and influences ALL. 


In either case, to no longer agree with the conditioned masses and their carefully guarded paradigm is to help others gain the potential to see.  This takes place both consciously and subconsciously, whether you open your mouth or not. 


As above, so below.


As this takes hold and begins to dissolve you, you realize fully that there is ONLY the NOW.  This is a simple thing that is extraordinarily hard to fully grasp.  There is only this ONE INSTANT.  I don’t say ‘moment’ here because our empirical ego-minds immediately chop that up into 60 seconds.  There is no moment.  There is only this instant – the NOW.  You must stop projecting into the future (doesn’t exist) and stop looking back at the past (gone) – because neither exist.  The past used to be the ‘Now’, and the future will be the ‘Now’, but in Truth, there is ONLY the NOW.  The ‘past’ and ‘future’ are just mental concepts of the ego-mind. 


You appeared to be born in this one instant, and you will appear to die in the same instant.  That is a fact.  Think about that for a moment.  I’ll wait.


There is no other instant.  There is only the NOW – never has been anything else.  But the ego-mind cannot live in the NOW.  There’s nothing for it to do.  It weakens and dies.  And this is a good thing – this is what you have been waiting for.


Furthermore, if you remain in the NOW, you will find that absolutely everything you need will always be there with you.  It always has been.  You’ve just let your ego-mind keep you insecure and projecting into the future, or regretting the past.  The ego-mind is merely a calculated response based upon past experiences, nothing more.  It likes to project its calculations (based upon the past) into to future to reassure itself of its continuation.  And he likes to keep you in one of those two places, because those are his kingdoms.  False kingdoms, yes, but with real dungeons he’ll happily toss you into because only when you’re there can the ego-mind be secure and exist.  You’ve got to kill him by staying in the moment.   


Stay with me in the NOW and very soon everything you see on these pages will be crystal clear.  You will see the live deer, and he’ll eat right out of your hand.  Stay here, in the NOW.  Can you do it?


Do this and see that when you have Become, you will have the ability to break the rules, to make the rules, to change ‘puppets’, to relate in ways that others can only call ‘miraculous’.  You are ALL, and therefore you relate and influence everything.  What is there that can escape your hand then?


This is when an indescribable lightness creeps in and seems to overtake you, and there is Love for everything – True Love, not what man calls love.  That love is closer to possessiveness and fear, wrapped in the desire to find someone or something to complete you and stabilize you.  It is born of the self.  True Love has no agenda and no self.  It doesn’t seek to fill an appetite.  It is not born of lack and need, but rather is the fullness of everything possible.  True Love lives in the NOW.  And this is what you seem to become.  I cannot describe it to you.  You must experience it for yourself.




Okay. That’s enough for now. Take a break.  Maybe more later.



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