<deep sigh>
I really don’t know if I should post this or not – I don’t know if there is any
way another will understand it without having experienced it firsthand. I
hope whoever ends up here is not seeking an instruction manual on ‘How
to Achieve Enlightenment’, because if there were a way to relay this
effectively, better men than I would have already done so long ago. This
is likely to raise more questions than it answers.

I had read before that what ‘It’ was, was indeed beyond words, but at the
same time incredibly simple. I thought perhaps the author was dodging a
difficult answer. But now I know what he meant. It really cannot be

Even so, this writing will attempt to answer 3 basic questions:

1. Who and what are we actually? Who is Bob or Frank, and how do
    they show up here?
2. Who or what is the End of the Line, the Absolute, the Source, That
    Which Is?
3. What is this dimension we seem to find ourselves in now? What
    causes this world and all that is in it to appear to be?

The answers to these questions are not easy to convey. To our
conditioned way of thinking, they seem outrageous or incredible. To find
something in this dimension to compare them to is very difficult, and in
the end, I find myself falling back upon words that are generally thought of
as somewhat scientific to try and convey what it is that is actually
occurring here. For their sterility, I apologize.

But I am trying to describe a creature that doesn’t exist in the common
mind. I can say it somewhat has the head of a parrot, and the tail of a
snake, and spots like a leopard, but what you conjure in your mind will
seem silly compared to the actual creature. That is what I am up against

Trying to bring it into this dimension is like pulling a deep sea creature up
from the depths – it just explodes and goes to pieces in this atmosphere,
because the unseen things that hold it together are simply not present
here in enough force to hold it together. I am sorry.

The one thing I can tell you that will be helpful is that you really must lay
aside all your concepts, all your studies – everything. Remember, if you
can read about it, then it can’t be 100% Truth (including this). You must
read between the lines. If someone can tell you directly about it, then it
can’t be the Truth. All someone can do is to point to it until YOU see it.
Until then, there’s probably little that person can say to you will make
much sense. Much will sound downright incredible. I know this because I
have experienced it firsthand. It comes as fast as lightning, as quickly as
a knife thrust. It really does.

I decided to go ahead and do this in sections because the second part
may be even more difficult to attempt to convey in writing. This is part
one. Good luck with reading between my lines. Some of this is bound to
sound very esoteric and some of it may sound downright nuts. Other
parts may make give you a headache when you try to understand it.
Good luck with it all. Read it as much as you like, but to find what you are
looking for, you must discard this and everything else you think you know
in the end. Don’t worry – you can’t throw away the Truth, as hard as you
may try. You can cover it up and disguise it for a while, but it cannot leave
you because it IS you. So throw it all away. Try. What remains will be the
only thing fit to keep.

‘The Download’ – Part I


One day, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye: Some of the
pillars used to support the paradigm I’d become accustomed to had
suddenly begun to crumble and wobble. Yes, I had noticed the cracks in
them before, but chose to overlook them or interpret them as ‘something I
would understand later’.

As I watched them begin to fail, I was afraid and disoriented. Where
would ‘here’ be now? Then unexpectedly, a feeling of gladness, of
outright glee overtook me and I realized that I had caused this because I
knew that the pieces did not truly fit. Others may have convincingly
claimed they did, but I couldn’t escape this knowing that they did not.
With this sudden realization, relief and light flooded every molecule of my

Within my deepest being, I had felt simmering discontent. I could no
longer bear ‘waiting for the Great Revelation’. I decided ‘no more
waiting’. No more feigned respect or berth given for what I could not find
agreement with within. Today was the day. I didn’t care if I was left with
nothing. An honest ‘nothing’ was more acceptable to me than a
discretionary ‘something’. And with that, I jumped into my bulldozer like a
madman and pulverized everything. I destroyed my paradigm, leveling it
until there was nothing left. Then I turned around, faced the Nothingness
and said, “Okay. NOW what?”

Somewhat to my surprise, It answered.

The answer was a profound Knowing, difficult to verbalize, but I have tried
to do so here in this writing, for what it is worth. I hope you can read
between the lines.


This Is an Autopsy

Let me say first that trying to convey this is very, very difficult. The Truth is
alive – it is a living thing. To attempt to discuss it is to kill and chop it into
little pieces that we call words. To discuss it is to actually perform an
autopsy. You can check it out, handle it, stick your fingers into its eye
sockets, but you can’t effectively relate what you think you see to the
actual living thing.

The Truth is like a beautiful deer standing in your forest of confusion. To
discuss it with you makes it necessary that I kill it and chop it into pieces.
This writing is my attempt to lay these pieces out in some sort of orderly
deer-shape, and if you don’t mind overlooking the butchering, perhaps
you can get an idea of what I am trying to describe. Even so, some of you
will be disgusted. Others will turn away in disbelief that anything so
crudely hacked up could be what I am trying to tell you it is. And some of
you, perhaps a couple of you, will have an inkling that you cannot account
for, and walls and floors you formerly thought of as quite sturdy may begin
to quiver. It is for you, I attempt this.

Even with my careful attempt at artfully arranging the chopped up carcass,
you will never really know the deer from anything I can present you. This
is indeed just a carcass laid out for you to examine. To know the deer as
it truly is, you’ll have to read between the lines. You have to rely on an
innate ‘knowing’. You already have this knowing. Perhaps seeing its
outline and form here will help you recall what you already know firsthand.
I hope so. It is why I have written this.

Also realize I may seem to circle around and come back and say nearly
the same thing again in a different way. This is how The Download
‘unwound’ itself to me, and I can only hope it did it in this fashion in order
to be helpful in some way. Perhaps hearing something said in multiple
ways helps it to sink in better. Or maybe I should have organized it better.
We’ll see. Let me know.

Anyhow, last call. Kansas may be about to go bye-bye.


I Disagreed

What were the rumblings that took down my ‘Rome’? It fell from the
inside, just like the Rome of old. I could no longer dismiss that there were
many assumptions expressed by well respected enlightened souls that I
disagreed with. I didn’t mean to disagree. I tried very hard not to
disagree. After all, who was I to disagree? But disagree, I did.

I couldn’t hear the ‘note’ playing when I came to those areas, I couldn’t
smell the fragrance of Truth I had become good at detecting. And I didn’t
know why. Initially, I wrote it off to simply not understanding enough at the
time to fully grasp what was being expressed. But over time that had
worn thin, and I could no longer accept it as a possibility. I can see this
unspoken disagreement leaking out everywhere when reading my old
writings and poems, though it was subconscious at the time. But having
finally broken free to the surface, it could no longer be overlooked or
dismissed. Rome had to be taken down.

The assumptions I disagreed with are very important. They are
considered fundamental to many schools of enlightenment – platforms
that everything else is built upon. To disagree with these is no light
matter. But I did.

It is assumed by many that:

1. That this world is Illusional, no more than a bad Dream we must
awaken from, a mistake. I disagree.
2. That our bodies are irrelevant, or that our bodies are ‘traps’ or
obstacles to work round or free ourselves from. I disagree.
3. That we are limited in our bodies by the nature of our bodies, and
should accept and let ‘nature’ take its course, because there is no other
choice and anyhow, and furthermore, we really shouldn’t care. I disagree.
4. That we are governed by any real limitations in this ‘dimension’. I

5. That things and people around us in this world are detrimental, and
should be minimized or should be avoided. I disagree.
6. That due to its perfection, the ‘Supreme Being’ can or simply must
‘ignore’, or ‘fail to be aware of’, or ‘choose to have nothing to do with’ this
dimension or ‘Illusion’. I disagree.
7. That there is a Supreme Being. I disagree.

Hold on – most require further explanation to understand what I mean,
and I’ll do my best here. You’ll have to do the rest.

Actually, some of this may strike you as being very simple. I assure you it
is. It is the explaining that proves difficult. If you grasp this correctly, you
will be surprised at how simple it is. It only becomes difficult and starts to
fall apart when you try to use your mentality to examine it.

One reason you may find it so simple is because you already know all of
this – it just seems like you’ve accidentally ‘overwritten the files’. Lucky
for you, these particular files are write-protected, and you’ve just labeled
them incorrectly and therefore filed them in the wrong place. I hope this
helps you retrieve them.

A Refresher

Here are some words I might be throwing around a lot, so take a moment to
allow the meaning as I intend it to sink in. I apologize for their sterile
nature, but absorb them anyhow. Note: There will be a pop quiz <grin>:
relate: To establish or demonstrate a connection between
relation: A logical or natural association between two or more things;
relevance of one to another; connection
relevant: Having a bearing on or connection with the matter at hand.
[Medieval Latin relevāns, relevant-, from Latin, present participle of
relevāre, to relieve, raise up; see relieve.]
relativity: 1. The theory that space and time are relative concepts rather
than absolute concepts. 2. The quality of being relative and having
significance only in relation to something else.

Now, here’s a difficult trick you must do:

While holding these definitions in one hand, please hold something
entirely different in your other hand:

In Truth, no relating or relativity is actually occurring,
because everything is actually the same – the One.

But this seeming relativity or relating is a ‘dynamic dance of motion and
repose’. And that, my dearest, is actually ‘You’. You are that Dance.


Big Surprise – Einstein Was RIGHT

Though Einstein used the seemingly non-ethereal tools of mathematics
and science in his ‘divining of the Divine’, that was indeed always his
secret focus, though the scientific community has no intention of handing
him over as a role model in the Search for Enlightenment.

Einstein apparently understood clearly that relativities do not merely affect
everything, but in a way, actually determine and define ‘what is’. His
mistake was in insisting upon *‘chopping up the deer’ (*see ‘This Is an
Autopsy’ above). Furthermore, the longer you stare at the chopped up
deer, the more you will try to find some way to relate to it as you have
become accustomed to relating to things in this dimension – to lay it out.
To handle it, demonstrate it, and examine it. And that will keep you
chasing your tail, as it did Einstein in the end.

He obviously believed that there must be a way to demonstrate without
question what he intuitively knew. But sadly, there is not, other than to
experience it firsthand. He was compelled to this belief by his ‘tools of
choice’ – science and math, which are by definition, pragmatic, and
based upon empirical data. Though well respected in this dimension,
empirical data is based upon comparisons and contrasts, and is domain
of the ego-mind. And the ego-mind, however brilliant, is limited. The
ego-mind will NEVER see the deer alive. It can only examine the dead
deer. To continue your search via the ego-mind will arrest your discovery
in midstream, and you will go no farther. Remember that.

I encourage you to tear down your Rome, thumb your nose at it, and turn
and say “NOW WHAT?” Are you brave enough? You must be willing to
do away with the neat stacking of blocks of ‘knowledge’ that have built the
supposed ‘Halls of Wisdom’ that you have studied and may have come to
revere or have some sort of an attachment to – as these very structures
that have now become your unwitting prisons.

Now, many of us have learned enough to avoid the narrow and limiting
structures of religion --- But I am telling you that you must chuck all the
bits and pieces you have lovingly collected as well. Throw away every
last thing you thought you knew about anything.

Begin anew.

By cleaning house, you will be undoing another level of conditioning that
you never even saw coming, because it was adopted in the NAME of
‘undoing conditioning’ in the first place. In the pursuit of freedom, and
Truth and liberation, we have unwittingly exchanged one set of chains for
another. Do away with them ALL. What you need to know will still be
there. It can never be parted from you.

In other words, yes, read this writing here if you like, but when you’re
done, toss it. Do not rely on my words. If any are the Truth in them, in the
end you will find you are not able to toss them, because they ARE you.

The Dance

What surrounds you? What are you made of? Is there anything? Do you

There are 3 popular theories:

1. The ‘regular physical world’ will insist that you are a physical being,
born from your parents, and living on the 3rd planet from the sun filled with
things that have evolved, but are irreversibly defined in the natures (unless
tampered with by science, or they continue to evolve).

2. However, some schools of enlightenment will counter that there is
nothing there at all – it is just a mental construct of you brain, and
therefore both the world, and you, are inevitably irrelevant and

3. While many religions will agree with the theory of the physical world,
they also believe in a spiritual world that we have ‘fallen from’. They
believe this physical world is evil and a mistake that we must suffer
through it because of our sins.



And no.

What composes this dimension is something too wonderful to express
clearly. What composes this dimension is YOU.

You cannot label it mental OR physical. It is neither ‘here’, nor is it ‘not
here’. I know this sounds paradoxical, but it is true. It’s impossible to
accurately verbalize, but it is somewhat like a dance.

Where is a ‘dance’? You can point to a ‘dance’ being done, but you are
actually pointing to the dancer. Could you place that ‘dance’ in a box and
take it home? What does it look like? You can write down the steps for
someone else to copy, but that will not accurately convey the actual dance
(and is what I am perhaps foolishly attempting to by this writing).

The things you seem to see and experience around you, including you,
are like this dance. To know it, you must dance. To know what is around
you, you must become the dance. Not the dancer – the dancer is only
there in a relative sense, as a means of expressing the dance. You must
become the Dance. There is no other way.

Relation and Relativity

Relation and relativity are what give birth to the things in this dimension.
Including you.

And relation and relativity themselves are the children of comparisons
and contrasts. To relate or be relative, there must be something to relate
or compare to, which brings you into the Land of Comparisons and
Contrasts: “This man is my father. This other man is not.” “This cake
tastes good. This onion tastes bad.” As you can see, comparisons and
contrasts also give birth to your perceptions: “I like this. I don’t like that.”
It even gives you reason or rationalization in this dimension: “I like it
because it is soft. I don’t like this because it is rough.”

Welcome to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, folks. The apples
are free here, but I wouldn’t take a bite, if I were you. If you do, welcome
to Hell. Oh. I see you’re here already. <grin> Oh well, pull up a chair and
get comfy for a minute. Rest up. Because soon, you’re going to Dance.

So in a way, we can think of existence in this dimension like a 2 edged
sword: The ‘cause’ of it including all its variations and perceptions is also
the cause of our pain and suffering: The Land of Comparisons and
Contrasts. But why would it be set up this way? To torture us? No – we’
ve just misinterpreted some important points, and we’ll go into those
along the way.

What’s So Special?

Perhaps some of the problem lies in the fact that we place SO much
importance on this dimension – it’s all we consciously know, so to us, it is
unique and very special. But in actuality, nothing can truly be ‘special’ if
there is only the One. Can it? Who or what is there to be special and
different, when there is only the One?

Perhaps this belief in the importance of this dimension is part of our
problem: There is an awful lot of energy and resources spent in an
attempt to understand everything within the constructs of this dimension.
Perhaps we might benefit from considering whether this dimension that
we have become so addicted to and dependent upon could be more
accurately compared to a simple chat room. You heard me – just a chat

If it’s the only chat room you know, then everything is automatically related
in terms of that chat room, and those related terms and ‘things’ become
very important. They are important because they are necessary in order
to express the ‘you’ you think you are. Think not? Who would ‘you’ be if
your parents didn’t exist in this ‘chat room’/dimension? Whatever that
would be, it couldn’t be the ‘you’ that you’ve come to believe is you.

Perhaps if we could see or know other chat rooms, and relate to these
other chat rooms, our ‘one and only’ chat room would begin to lose its
disproportionate importance to us. Leaving this chat room to go to
another would be no big deal. But we can’t see those other chat rooms.
Why? Why are we stuck only viewing this chat room? (This is important):

Because we’ve desperately tied ourselves to the username in this chat room.

Haven’t you? We all have. We literally have a death-grip on it.
Therefore, we have imprisoned and limited ourselves. And though we try
to explain everything by this one chat room, inside us where Truth dwells
we know nothing really makes sense within those confined terms, and
that leaves us with a constant feeling of worry and dis-ease. And we start
to misinterpret things and make up things, and these things became our
reality. And such is the unfortunate state of most of mankind.


‘Relative To’, But Not ‘Caused By’

Still with me? Good. Here is where another seeming paradox that
makes the Truth a difficult thing to grasp:

Everything in this dimension exists relative to everything else,
yet, nothing causes anything else.

Hmmm….seems to be a brain-buster, but here’s why: The Short Answer
is simply this:

There is only One, not two.

Always remember that. In Truth, what is there to act upon another? There
IS no other. Yet things dynamically ‘relate’. The ‘dance’ is the ‘Totality’
(You) having this little orgasm of sensations and ideas and relations, etc.
– each is just a ‘note’ in this song. But no note is caused by another note.

We can use a piano in this example, and say that in one perspective
each key is independent, but in actuality they are all part of the same
piano. They are not separate. And it’s not actually the Player who is
causing the melody to occur, thought that’s what most assume. No. What
actually brings the melody forth is the Action, the Playing, the Dance that
brings it forth. And the Dance is YOU. How about that?

Donut Holes

Here’s another way to try and look at it using a humble donut. In this
example, the ‘you’ you know in this dimension (Frank, Teresa, whoever)
is the donut hole. The Real You is the Donut. Because of the Donut’s
existence, the donut hole exists, or seems to. Because of the Real You,
the little you also ‘is’. In this way, the Donut ‘creates’ the donut hole. The
donut hole exists relative to the Donut. The donut hole could not exist
without the Donut. Rather, it would exist, but it could not be easily pointed

Doing the Wave

Here’s one more final way to try and look at it: The mind prefers to think
that you are a dense body, tactile, subject to attacks (like germs), benefits
(like vitamins), etc. But you do not truly exist in his way.

You only exist as somewhat of an amalgam in this dance, like the spray
generated when a wave pounds against a rock. If you look carefully, you
will realize that neither the wave nor the rock caused the spray to exist,
per se. It was the action, the interplay, the relation between the rock and
the wave that actually birthed the spray. And the spray is neither the wave
nor the rock – it is the spray. If it were the wave or the rock, you would call
it the wave or the rock. It is what was born of is the relation between the
two. But it’s not actually of the rock or wave – it exists because of the
relation between the two. The interplay is actually both mother and father,
rather than the rock or wave.

The spray is not the wave, though similar in some ways to the wave. But
rather, it is the spray, with its own duration and attributes, created by the
copulation (relation) of the wave and the rock. But it is neither of them. It
is the spray. Neither of them caused it. The interplay did.

And in a similar manner do we, and everything else in this dimension,
seem to ‘exist’.

Brain sizzling? That’s okay. Let is sizzle until it finally gives up and fizzles
out. Really, what happens is that when you see that you can not grasp
this by your common thought process, you will eventually abandon it and
turn instead to the Knowing that is within you. Then you will see the deer.


Hear No Evil, See No Evil

I’ve read in both Eastern and Western religions that The Absolute /The
Source/God/Divine Being (however you prefer to label It) is ‘not aware of’
or ‘takes no part in’ certain things and events. It did not escape my notice
that these things and events are always what is commonly judged as
‘bad’ or ‘unpleasant’ or ‘detrimental’, like war, or birth defects, or even our
supposed blindness to the Truth. All bad. And all placed well away from
our Divine Being. What is actually going on here?

Incredibly, to ‘protect’ this Divine Being that we have actually given rise to
in our minds, we give it an excuse. We are attempting to protect our own
creation, not unlike Dr. Frankenstein tried to protect his creation. We
even allow the monster to turn on us, claiming it is all our own fault.

It’s kind of funny when you think about it – ‘little insignificant mortal us’
giving the Divine Being a backdoor to slip out: Sin. Imperfection. To
keep this hodge-podge monster we have created, this ‘Divine Being’
pure so that we give our life a lame meaning of sorts, we say that this
Divine Being doesn’t ‘know’ of these things, and/or can’t be a part of
them, because after all, it is Pure Perfection. How can anyone expect
perfection to mingle with what is imperfect? This line of reasoning lets us
keep it as ‘Divine’, while giving us an excuse (of sorts) as to why these
‘bad’ things exist (war, birth defects, disease, etc), without blaming our
Divine Being for them, or even have him included as a part of them.

In our attempt to explain what seems to be happening by the rules of this
dimension that we are trying to work within, we have to lay it all at our own
feet. There’s no other choice. Who else is there to blame but each other,
which is something we also do constantly. Hello war. Hello
discrimination. Hello prejudice.

Our most common rationalization becomes that ‘we have done wrong’,
and that is why this entire problem occurred. There’s no other place to lay
the blame and resolve what is irresolvable, but upon us. We see no
choice but to throw ourselves on the hand grenade to save our ‘god’. And
since our Paradigm falls without this manufactured rationalization, and we
desperately don’t want that, we willingly accept this manufactured
explanation, despite the cost.

Some do see the impossibility of this stance and try to take a middle-of-
the-road approach by saying these ‘bad things’ are indeed within the
Absolute, as all things must be, but apparently they skooch ‘the
imperfection’ over to the side a bit, so that the Absolute is not actually a
true part of it, is not aware of it, and does not participate in it. What? Bull
puckey. How could that be? Is it ABSOLUTE, or not? Is it the SOURCE
of ALL, or not?

(But actually, I really do appreciate this error, as I think it was this one that
I could simply not make to lie down flat, and eventually was the cause of
‘tearing down my Rome’. And that was the best move I have ever made.)

How Did This Tremendous Misinterpretation Occur?

It was caused by the fact that these schools of thought cannot completely
explain away some things that they need to. But nothing can be outside
of the Absolute, can it? What can be? The Absolute is Complete, it is all
there is, it is total Awareness, yet they try to say it does not ‘see’ these
things that are unseemly or ‘bad’. And so, like the some religions, some
schools of enlightenment try to sweep this discrepancy under the rug by
indirectly claiming the Absolute to be so holy that, while it is in a way a
part of it, it is not really a part of it because it does not participate in it. It
is a ‘false dream’ that It takes no part in. That part is skooched to the
side. What? Is it Absolute, or not?

Anyhow, this is my attempt at explaining this absurd notion and perhaps I
am not doing it very well, but I hope you see the silliness of this proposal
that the Absolute (which contains everything) somehow turns His head, or
fails to be aware of anything. This can’t be. There is only the One.
Everything is here. Everything. Where else could it be?

Now What?

So, the question then goes back to “How do we incorporate these ‘bad’
things into that which is Perfection? The One?” Can that be done?
Easily. It is already done.

The biggest snag comes from our inability to deal with the fact that there
is no such thing as good or bad, but merely our perception of it. You’ll
need to really try and absorb this - This is a really big point that most
cannot bring themselves to agree with. Try to be one of those who can
see this.

Here’s a simple example to help:
The flood that may wash your house away and kill you family may also
have saved the farmer’s crop and his family. Was it a good flood, or a
bad flood? That depends on your perspective alone, and nothing else.
Perspective alone pulls the trigger on the label of ‘good’ or ‘bad’. In Truth,
there is not one thing that is good or bad. Only perspectives carry those
labels. Can you see this?

To have a perspective, you must have a fixed locality, a ‘me’ point to
operate from - a perspective. You’ll soon see that when the false little ‘me’
dissolves, then perspectives also dissolve, and ‘good’ and ‘bad’ go with
it, and you understand how ALL is permitted by the Infinite, as all things
and all possibilities and potentialities are contained by It.

Our suffering and pain comes from our compulsion to compare and
contrast, to like and dislike. Because this is the ONLY way we know who
‘we’ (the ego-self) are. This is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
In the highest Truth there are no bad things to explain away. Mankind is
attempting to resolve a dilemma that doesn’t need resolving – because
the condition itself is false, created out of perceptions and
misinterpretations. Smoke and mirrors.

‘What You See Is What You Get?’ what most people say. Or is it “what you THINK is what you
get”? Which is true?

What DO we think? HOW do we think? Just how deep does our
conditioning go? Have you ever considered this?

Have you considered that the ‘civilized world’ goes through pretty much
the same processing and conditioning? We are brought up within fairly
similar boundaries and ‘fencing’, education being a large part of our
conditioning with a disproportionate emphasis. Have you ever
considered how many different things one could choose to know about?
Doesn’t it seem a little odd that we’ve selected a handful of ideas,
sanctioned them as ‘important’, and then our government actually make it
a legal requirement that you immerse yourself and children in them,
usually in the form of what is considered ‘education’?

Doesn’t it seem as though we are unconsciously trying to enforce an
unspoken agreement - A reference point, something to measure other
things by? Doesn’t it seem like we are trying to reinforce our concept of
reality and importance, and thereby hopefully assist in stabilizing what we
believe to be reality?

Our global fascination with education and knowledge points to a very
large Truth – we know there is something very important we need to
know. But we don’t remember what that was, so we have instead
installed randomly selected criteria, taken from various perspectives
(science, math, whatever) perhaps in hopes of maybe hitting upon
whatever it is we needed so desperately to know. We selected and
created this thing called ‘education’, and we blindly follow it. We darn
near worship it. But it is worthless. Even though other enlightened
venues may insist you need ‘this and that’ knowledge to exist in this
world, I disagree. What you need to know, you already know, and it will
be expressed as the need arises. This may be hard for you to believe,
but it is utterly True.

Let’s take a moment to switch gears and challenge the perception of
some very basic ‘givens’ – things that are much more fundamental to us
than say, multiplication or geography: That about physicalities? The
perception of temperature and how we relate to it? Is it possible they are
also learned somewhat, or at least directed and reinforced? And if they
are at least partially learned, just how far does our conditioning go?

I point to two empirical examples (‘Hurray!’ says the empirical crowd
<grin>), two people known as ‘Wild Children’: ‘Genie’ of California
( ), and an even
more intriguing example ‘Victor’ of Aveyron
( Victor was known to
gleefully romp nude in the snow, showing neither mental NOR physical
aversion to the cold, and one of Genie’s foster Mothers noted that when
allowed to run her own bathwater, she would run it cold and get into it
without showing any discomfort at all. To Victor and Genie, ‘cold’ wasn’t
cold. They didn’t react emotionally as if it was cold, nor did their bodies
react to it. Hmm.

People who are unconditioned by society are more rare than a chicken
with teeth. We haven’t had a lot of opportunity to examine what can
happen. From birth, we are coaxed and cooed into responding to
stimulus in a certain way. It is rare we can see what we might be like
without this constant reinforcement. To me, Genie and Victor are
something to consider while questioning all this.

Just how far does our conditioning go? How deep is that rabbit hole?
Most seeking enlightenment would easily confer that what we perceive or
think to be happening is indeed largely a learned perception. But those
same people would have a hard time believing this conditioning might
extend into our physical world as well. But it does. We are our own
jailers, enforcing our manufactured limitations upon ourselves, and
perpetuating the stability of these false limitations by our constant social
conditioning. For without it, Rome falls. Let Rome fall.

If you think about it, a kind of ‘proof’ has happened to many of us before.
Have any of you ever accidentally cut yourself, for example, and while yes,
you thought you might have nicked or scraped yourself, you had no idea
how seriously you injured yourself until you looked at it? In fact, it possibly
didn’t even hurt until you perceived the injury with your eyes. I’ve done this
more than once, I don’t think it’s that uncommon (or maybe I’m just much
too preoccupied and really clumsy <grin>). But pain was only there in
relation to perception of the injury.

Or, have any of you ever experienced an illness or injury and didn’t seek
medical advice, recovered from it, and found out later that your recovery
should have taken much longer or had been much worse? Why was that?
Could it be because you didn’t have a doctor informing you what to
expect, therefore your healing followed a course more authentic to you
and your perception of it, rather than the conditioned response? Is this
possible to you? Can you see it?

Going back the ‘civilized world’ and its unconscious system of
conditioning, have you also ever noted that the ‘uncivilized world’ seems
to live by a different set of rules? What we would freeze to death in, they
easily work around. What would crush us as being too harsh or
unbearable; they merely overlook and thrive in. We write it off to evolution
or acclimation, but aren’t those merely other words for conditioning? Are
‘rules what they are’ because ‘conditioning is what it has been’? How
much does this unconscious conditioning influenced how things relate? A
little? Half? All? Stop and consider this, if you haven’t already. Is this
the great “ask and you shall receive”? Can it be changed if we believe
that it can? Stop and look at this. It’s a question you cannot be told the
answer to, but must discover by yourself.

It’s a Trap

Know that you can’t ‘think’ your way to the Truth. This is a common
misconception. I mean, if Einstein failed, what chance do you have,
right? <grin> Rather, it is a Knowing that occurs because of a

So, is the ego-mind worthless? Not entirely. I’ll tell you what your ego-
mind can show you: Sometimes it can help show you what is NOT the

Because this is not a mistake. It is not merely an Illusion. So, what is this
that we know as our world? Our ego-mind’s eyes can only see our
MISINTERPRETATION right now. We don’t know what we are looking
at, because we have decided it is something different.

As everything is relating to something else, it is in the process of
‘becoming’ – not in the pursuit of any particular goal (like perfection, etc.)
It is simply what occurs when things ‘relate’. There is both conscious and
unconscious ‘relating’. And both reside in the Awareness, as do we, and
all possibilities and potentialities.

But you must remember that relating is based upon perceptions, and
perceptions make the rules you live by. Perceptions are reinforced when
there is agreement among how things are to relate. We know this on an
unconscious level because from this understanding has sprung society,
education, and government as well as all other attempted means of
regulation. We are seeking to stabilize that which by definition is
dynamic and fluid.

We seek to homogenize out of fear of the unknown, out of the fear of
change, out of the fear of ‘others’. It’s all we can do to try and stabilize
‘us’, the ‘ego-self, which is actually merely an interpretation of the
occurring relativity, ironically. As long as there is a ‘we’, we will be
constantly fluxing and dynamic. Yet all this dynamic fluxing rests within
That Which Never Changes, and it can do this because there, all
potentials exist. It contains everything. It is everything. And that, is YOU.
You are the Dance. Put that in a box and try to take it home. <grin>

Sizzle sizzle <POP!> goes the mind. <grin> You’ll be okay.

What About ‘Observing the Thinker’?

We need to mention this, because it is a good tool to use initially, a
popular one, and what I point to in ‘The Cleft’ . It is often helpful in
weakening your grip on exactly what you believe you are. But beware that
it is still a personification. Because now, though you have successfully
disassociated yourself with the ‘Thinker’ (the ego-mind) you have now
associated yourself with The Observer, which is still an entity. In Truth,
there are no real entities. All entities are merely ‘smoke and mirrors’
shaped by relativities.

So I would be misleading you if I failed to mention you must go beyond
the Observer. Yes, past even Him. Did you realize there was something
beyond Him, working His puppet strings, so to speak? There is – and
what that is has no name, but simply calling it ‘That Which Is’ feels right to
me. It is an awareness. It is all possible possibilities and potentialities. It
is everything and nothing at the same time. It is ALL. The living deer.
The Dance.

Until you reach That Which Is, please be aware that there will continue to
be misinterpretations. It is inevitable. But as you dissolve more and
more, and thereby become more and more, you will clearly see these
errors of thought and brush them away like lint off your jacket. They mean

Stop the Insanity

Some of the earliest actual progress towards ‘enlightenment’ is to stop
trying to stabilize things and sort things. As the Beatles said, ‘Let it be’.
There will be an answer, let it be. Stop trying to understand things by our
‘selves’, because our ‘self’ is an ever-changing variable. It only exists
relatively. What kind of reliable ruler or marker is that? We know this,
too. And therein lies our constant feeling of unease and insecurity.

The more we allow our perceptions to localize ‘us’, the more distant we
become to our natural rhythms of flux, of relating, which IS our actual
existence. Not the existence of the Real You, the Dance, but it is the
action of relating that births the ego-self - Bob, Mary, Jane. If it were not
for our relating to something else, you could not define a ‘you’, because
you only know who you are by comparisons and contrasts. This is
important to see.

For example, you are not this chair. You can tell the difference between
you and this chair. You are not Bob Johnson, because your parents (your
r e l a t i v e s by the way <raised eyebrows>) were Mr. and Mrs. Smith
and therefore you are John Smith. You dislike politics. You like golf. You
prefer coffee over tea, etc. You have green eyes. You are fair skinned.
You are tall. You like blue. Jalapenos give you heartburn. The list is
infinite, and it is by these comparisons and contrasts that you are
‘defined’. By your relation or relativity to things/people/places, you are
who you are, instead of being someone else. By these comparisons and
contrasts do you seem to have being and exist in this dimension.

The body you call your physical body was born out of your parents relating
to each other, was it not? Didn’t they have relations in order to create
you? Hmmm.

[Sidebar here: Pay careful attention to our language and to your
amazement you will see the Truth dripping everywhere, once you know
what to look for. How is this possible? Because WE KNOW. You know.
Right now. You’ve just mislabeled the information. Anyhow, watch.]

Once your parent’s relation produced you, you immediately began to be
conditioned so that you would react and interact in certain ways, so that
you would be ‘safe’ within the prevailing perceptions. You began to pile
perceptions and personality on top of that. Your compliance with this
conditioning is what makes these assigned rules and attributes seem to
be real in this dimension, and your unspoken agreement assists in the
misguided attempt to stabilize that which is constantly fluxing – You. And
this attempt is the main source of all the pain in the world as we know it.

That’s why people don’t care for others to ‘make waves’ or be different. It
jeopardizes the current paradigm of reality in a very real way. It’s not
pretend or make-believe, and everyone knows this, just not consciously.
That’s why the only time that change is acceptable is when there is a
recognized failure or weakness identified in something. In that case,
change is only tolerated in the hope that it will lead right back to no
change – to stabilization. It’s all about stabilization. And that’s why we
continue to pull everything in on our heads. War. Economics. Because
it is only in the state of recognized failure and ensuing instability that we
will consider something new and different. Often it is only when we hit
true bottom do we consider looking up.

But the threat to the current paradigm (upon which your ego-self is
dependent) is why in every other case, those with different ways of
relating/perception/being are seen as a threat by those within the
governing paradigm. They’re considered ‘outsiders’. And they are a
threat, indeed.

So. Here We Are

Still here? Good. Thanks for hanging tough. I hope this has helped you
to question what you really are. Are you blood and bone? Or are you
something entirely different, that ‘blood and bone’ are merely symbols

It is by these comparisons and contrasts of relating that we stay blind to
the Truth. But all is not a mistake, or sin, or illusion – it simply is what it is.
Our misinterpretation goes into play when we seek stability and call
some of the things ‘errors’, or ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. But it is only our

You must still remember that is during all this changing and flux and
relating, still nothing has actually changed, it has just transiently related to
one of an unlimited number of potentials. I know it sounds confusing to
hear that so much change and flux is taking place, yet nothing is changing
in actuality, but that is the Truth. That is the ‘live deer’. You’re trying to
fathom how so many pieces of the chopped up deer could animate into
one beautiful living thing. But it does. It’s just difficult to see from how you
are attempting to focus and what you are focusing on. You must read
between the lines and know that we are only trapped within these bodies
proportionate to the amount we truly identify with them.


This is sort of a humorous question to me from where I sit now, but it is a
common one: “Why would the One do this?” We are always trying to
make sense of the divine, never seeing that we only seek to relate to It in
a way that is familiar and comforting to us. “Why would it do all this?” we
ask. Why? WHY? WHYYYY??!!!!

Tell me first, “Why not?”

Do we dare to attempt to limit the Infinite? To give it rules? To demand
reasons? Yes, apparently, we do. Or we try to.

This reaction is part of the last vestiges of the supposedly ‘enlightened’
ego-mind that attempts to answer a question that doesn’t need
answering, “WHY?” Well, why not?

After all, who are we? We are one of the unlimited potentials formed by
relativity, yet we are not truly caused by anything – we are merely one of
the unlimited potential outcomes. We are dynamic flux.

dy•nam•ic: An interactive system or process, especially one involving
competing or conflicting forces

Starting to see the proverbial handwriting on the wall? Everything is both
dynamic and instantaneous. Einstein was right – ‘time is indeed just an
illusion, albeit a very persistent one’. And with this realization, suffering
ends, and we can rest within the NOW. The NOW is where the party is.
The NOW is where EVERYTHING is.

It is with the utter death of both the ‘I’ and ‘i’, where pure consciousness
and awareness reign, that you are freed from relating to anything,
because what is there now left to relate to? In this state you are your
rightful and True nature of all potential possibilities. The Absolute. And
the NOW is its playground. Literally.

To slip out of perceptions and into this natural state is to stand in the
‘realm of miracles’, yet now, it is no miracle to you – only one of all
unlimited potential possibilities. As you no longer identify with a self,
even a divine one, you are not chained by your perceptions, and therefore
you are chained by no rules. You never really were anyhow. But now you
know this.

To return to the Awareness beyond our normal mental processes, where
there are only unlimited potentialities, is to no longer be part of the
equation, but the entire equation, and all potential calculations and

This is what made me tear down my Rome. Despite what I had been
told, I could see no error, no mistake, no illusion, no dream had been
committed – just a misguided misinterpretation. One must realize that
however lofty your rationalizations may be, they are still just your search
for an explanation – an answer to a question that never truly existed.

‘The Download’ Answers Me

In the midst of all this writing, I paused in awe. Yes, right in this very spot. I
reflected on how someone like Jesus, who knew all this and I’m sure even
more, grasped it all when he ‘lived’ in a time when so little was known?

[Sidebar: Do NOT get distracted by my referral to Jesus. He was a man
who lived, just like you and I, and he unraveled the unity I speak of here,
becoming One. He did not try to start ‘christianity’. Christianity just
borrowed from him, so get over and past any associative prejudices. ]

Anyhow, I unconsciously paused in awe, and thinking of Jesus, asked
mentally, “Wow – How did you manage to get all this?” I nearly dropped
my pen when there was actually an immediate answer, “The same way
you are receiving it right now.”

The Importance of Intent

People tend to think that it is the outcome of something which is
important. This is not necessarily true, in the larger scope of the Truth.
Intent is most important. This is why:
Intent defines how you relate.
And this ‘relating’ is all that is actually Real.

Remember: You’re not the dancer. You’re the Dance. The dancer is a
just an expression of the Dance. And the Dance is YOU.

As Above, So Below

Now, the real question becomes, ‘What do you think of your relations and
how you relate? For however you relate, however you limit your
perceptions and possibilities, however you enforce your conditioning -
those rules shall reign in your world.

To understand this fully will change your relation to everything and every
potential, and therefore you beneficially influence the potential outcome to
everything relating to you. How many things that will include depends
upon how broad your perspective has become. How broad your
perspective is depends on how much of ‘you’ that you’ve dissolved. Are
you mostly Sally or Fred? They can relate to and influence what is relative
to them. Or are you the Absolute? It relates and influences ALL.

In either case, to no longer agree with the conditioned masses and their
carefully guarded paradigm is to help others gain the potential to see.
This takes place both consciously and subconsciously, whether you open
your mouth or not.

As above, so below.

As this takes hold and begins to dissolve you, you realize fully that there is
ONLY the NOW. This is a simple thing that is extraordinarily hard to fully
grasp. There is only this ONE INSTANT. I don’t say ‘moment’ here
because our empirical ego-minds immediately chop that up into 60
seconds. There is no moment. There is only this instant – the NOW. You
must stop projecting into the future (doesn’t exist) and stop looking back
at the past (gone) – because neither exist. The past used to be the
‘Now’, and the future will be the ‘Now’, but in Truth, there is ONLY the
NOW. The ‘past’ and ‘future’ are just mental concepts of the ego-mind.

You appeared to be born in this one instant, and you will appear to die in
the same instant. That is a fact. Think about that for a moment. I’ll wait.

There is no other instant. There is only the NOW – never has been
anything else. But the ego-mind cannot live in the NOW. There’s nothing
for it to do. It weakens and dies. And this is a good thing – this is what
you have been waiting for.

Furthermore, if you remain in the NOW, you will find that absolutely
everything you need will always be there with you. It always has been.
You’ve just let your ego-mind keep you insecure and projecting into the
future, or regretting the past. The ego-mind is merely a calculated
response based upon past experiences, nothing more. It likes to project
its calculations (based upon the past) into to future to reassure itself of its
continuation. And he likes to keep you in one of those two places,
because those are his kingdoms. False kingdoms, yes, but with real
dungeons he’ll happily toss you into because only when you’re there can
the ego-mind be secure and exist. You’ve got to kill him by staying in the

Stay with me in the NOW and very soon everything you see on these
pages will be crystal clear. You will see the live deer, and he’ll eat right
out of your hand. Stay here, in the NOW. Can you do it?

Do this and see that when you have Become, you will have the ability to
break the rules, to make the rules, to change ‘puppets’, to relate in ways
that others can only call ‘miraculous’. You are ALL, and therefore you
relate and influence everything. What is there that can escape your hand

This is when an indescribable lightness creeps in and seems to overtake
you, and there is Love for everything – True Love, not what man calls love.
That love is closer to possessiveness and fear, wrapped in the desire to
find someone or something to complete you and stabilize you. It is born
of the self. True Love has no agenda and no self. It doesn’t seek to fill an
appetite. It is not born of lack and need, but rather is the fullness of
everything possible. True Love lives in the NOW. And this is what you
seem to become. I cannot describe it to you. You must experience it for

Okay. That’s enough for now. Take a break. Maybe more later.

Click here to go to Part II
Click here to go to Part III